wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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