just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
