Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
