dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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