I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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