Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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