My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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