I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
