Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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