and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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