that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm passing your future prison.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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