She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
