as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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