Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize