Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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