how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
