did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We are two peas in an std pod
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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