Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I am naked and annoyed.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
