Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
