oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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