I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
