I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
