I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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