so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
