I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
