so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
