They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
