P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
