Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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