Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
