butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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