He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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