After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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