I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize