captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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