guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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