He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
