so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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