I wish life had little blips of pornography
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's official drugs can't kill me
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
