Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Text me some of your sweat
jump out the window naked night went bad
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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