dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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