I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
