He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize