Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
