conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
