so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
