He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize