are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
