dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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