halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
