I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize