he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
you never un-have a 4some
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize