so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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