he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize