i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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