butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
