Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
