Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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