You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
