if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Acid is not a monday night drug
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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