so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
