Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
