it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
