Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
