did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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